Monday, December 31, 2012

Forgiveness - Tenth Avenue North - Losing

Forgiveness has been on my heart the last couple of days.  I had a situation that I felt I needed to forgive and ask them to forgive me.  Well...since taking care of that situation I have read posts by others about forgiveness.  The first was from Michael O'Brien (my favorite Christian singer).  Here's what he shared...

Forgiving someone for doing something hurtful to you doesn't make that person right in what they did, but it makes you free.  I heard that from my dear sister Stormie Omartian and really love that revelation.
This post from Michael was encouraging to me because right before reading this, I had made the decision to forgive some people.  I prayed that God could do what he wanted with the relationships for His glory. 

I understand that friendships and relationships can come and out of our lives for certain times.  I have been hurt a few times in the past and know that holding onto those hurts doesn't help me...what it does is harbor a root of bitterness to grow.  Which causes a barrier to become between God and me.  Thankfully God has used a few messages and friends' postings to lead me to what I needed to do.  

What I need to do now is forgive and let God deal with how the other person responds.  Since taking the initiative, I had another post that really spoke to me.  It was from a friend who is a pastor's wife.  She shares...

Forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive! Don't wait until tomorrow! I really don't know why this is so heavy on my heart right now, but it is...there will come a time in each of our lives that WE are the ones standing in the need of forgiveness.  What a dreadful place to be - but what a merciful place it CAN be! No one is above the need for mercy.  Praising God for the mercy and grave He's shown ME in 2012! Overwhelmed with love and thankfulness for my Saviour, and for those with which He allows me to walk this road! p.s. I forgive you ;)
This led me to think of the song by Tenth Avenue North - Losing.  I think this describes exactly how it feels to not forgive someone for what they have done to you.  It hurts...but we are only hurting ourselves more by not forgiving others.  May God bless!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Difficult Day

I know Sundays should not be titled "difficult," but today mine was.  I woke up in plenty of time for church.  Got myself ready for church, then cleaned off the cars (mine and mom's).  Then went out to start my car and...nothing!  Absolutely nothing.  

I came back in and mom gave me her keys to use her car.  She wasn't feeling well and their church was canceled this morning, so I headed out.  It's weird driving a car that you aren't used to.  I love my SUV...I love how I sit up high in it.  Mom's car is not high...I felt like I was dragging on the road :) but I'm thankful her car was working and able to take me to worship.

Thankfully, I have been learning about peaceful living.  Basically not letting my circumstances rule my life.  You know the saying, when life gives you lemons...make lemonade!  Well, I went out around 4 pm, to try to jump my car. I turned my mom's car on, opened the hood, then just looked.  Crazy! I could not find the battery.  I knew where my battery was, but hers I couldn't find.  

A guy from my mom's church drove by and stopped to help me.  He was a really good friend of mine and I was glad that he came by.  After he started working on it, my uncle Ray came by. I can't tell you the happiness my mom had seeing those two men stop by to help her little girl.  She prayed right before they both came for me to know what to do or for someone to stop by to help...well her prayer was doubly answered.  

I still don't have my car working, but thankfully I can use my mom's car tomorrow to get to work.  After work, I'll have to see about getting my battery out of the car to take to the auto repair shop and see if they can test it or buy a new one.  

Yes, it's been a difficult day, but through this day God has surprised me.  I was to sing at my church tonight and even though this was going on, I was able to sing the song in my heart "One Child."  I was thankful to have the ability to sing and still see God in the craziness of life.  

Charles Swindoll has said "I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."  I want to praise God through situation.  I want to give him glory even though it's not what I have asked for.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Getting ready for the new year - 2013

I usually try to make some resolutions for the new year.  Most of the time I don't keep them, but there is the rare occasion that I have kept one or two.  Like when I resolved the year I turned 33 that I wouldn't get married - of course, I was trying to break that one. LOL! :)  But in a serious one, I resolved the year of 2010 that I would lose weight.  It worked - I lost 30 pounds - and kept it off for over a year, but this year I unfortunately found those lost pounds.  So it's time to reflect and see what needs to change.

Insanity defined is "doing the same old things, but expecting different results."  I have learned this lesson and realize that to get different must do some changing. I love the biblical application to this.  God doesn't change us before he saves.  He saves us - then he allows trials and testings to help to change us.  

I have decided to do 3 changes.  I like the number 3 and think it's a good number to work through this year.

1. to read through the Bible in a year.  I have always attempted to start, but always ended up reading in different ways.  So I have a check sheet.  I'm a person who doesn't like to just read through from Genesis to Revelation, but I like marking off chapters that I have read. So that's what I'm attempting this year.  To read through the Bible - I will keep you posted on how it goes.

2. I want to begin the 7 steps to Inner and Outer Beauty "Greater Health God's Way."  I have read part of this book before and have tried to implement what I have read, but never finished it.  I am actually going to try this year to work through the book.  I'll probably journal the book through here to help with success.

3. To track my eating and exercise via "My Fitness Pal."  I know I need to be accountable. I have this linked to my Facebook page and also have friends on it to help cheer me along.

Last year was called my "waiting" year.  I still believe God is teaching me by waiting upon Him, so I'll continue that theme as my word for the year...but I'm open to see what else He will be teaching me.

Until next time...

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

whoa! two post for the day :)

I just finished my last post on Facebook for the day and I wanted to write a little more about it. Here is what I shared there - 
it has been a very emotional day, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. God has been so good to me - blessed me with an amazing family, wonderful friends, and special memories. He gave me a very special moment this morning by reminding me that He is all I need. Don't get me wrong, I had great gifts from my family, but Jesus gave me Himself as a gift, and I'm thankful I accepted His gift 29 years and 4 days ago. There but for the grace of God go I :)
I had an amazing time with my family. I had gotten my sister the Jason Crabb Live DVD - he was singing "I'd Rather Have Jesus" on it.  Hearing that this morning, I just wanted to share it with my friends on Facebook.  This brought a friend of mine posting another video from that DVD for me to check out. I was actually listening to it as I was writing my earlier blog.  Leah had told me to check out another performance on youtube "I'm Amazed" he was to be at a prison and he had some of the members of the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir with him at this prison.  Some of the men were stone cold faces listening to the songs, others were weeping.  It was an incredible performance so I shared it with my friend. He enjoyed it.  

What was really special about the day was this was the first Christmas that I really didn't want anything.  What I mean is I realized that Jesus is all I want...He's definitely all I need, but to say Jesus is all I truly want is something.  My goal for this Christmas was to enjoy the moments - moments with my momma - my family - my nephews - my friends.  Remembering those things and just really taking in those moments.  

Life is short.  We know that especially with the tragedy at Newtown, CT.  That situation has been on my heart as I begin to pick songs to share with a church on New Years Eve.  One of the songs, I hope to share is "Can You Hear Me? (How Many Times)" by Plumb.  This is a special song for me because after daddy passed, I heard it and it touched me.  I have asked those same questions "How many times have you heard me cry out, God please take this? How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?"  I know during these last 6 months every breath that I have taken has been from God.  He knows how many days I'm to live.  My job is not to make estimations of His return, ask questions of why things happen, or persuade people on my side of thinking.  What I'm to do is serve Him and bring honor to Him.  To glorify Him.  I was created by The Creator to bring praise to Him.  I love that.  I sing a song called "Psalm 139" - I love the thought of the song "Even though You know (me) You will always love me, Even though you know, You'll never let me go, I don't deserve Your love, but You give it freely, You will always love me...even though you know."  So when people ask me why does God allow for things like this to happen...I have to remind myself I don't have to have a pat answer. I don't have to understand the workings of God.  I trust that He (My Creator) is in control and bring praise to Him.  

I do know that God can be there in those dark days.  He can be there holding our hand.  Think about the poem "Footprints" - when the man only saw one set of prints in the sand...he was told those were the times he was being carried.  

What I do understand is that God has been there for me in my dark times.  He has been there holding me ... giving my breaths to take ... in control! I think of my brother's song that he wrote in honor of my dad.  "There but for the grace of God go I"  

So as I close this Christmas Day of 2012.  I'm thankful that I'd rather have Jesus...than anything :)

Merry Christmas

Well, I haven't written since my post from November.  I hope to do better beginning this post about writing for this blog. 

Yesterday was my mom and dad's anniversary.  A few weeks ago, I had thought about giving her something for the anniversary. If daddy were here she would get something and I didn't want her to not get something special for that day. I ended up purchasing a locket that I put one of daddy's pictures in it.  I have a place to put her in it too :)

Christmas is here!  The celebration of Jesus' birth.  My tradition for the past several years has been to come to my sister Leah's house and go to their Christmas Eve service to listen to Pastor Rick deliver a monologue about the Christmas story. It's such a special time.  

It was a little difficult this year sitting in the service knowing that my dad is in Heaven and not in the seat next to us.  At the closing Pastor Rick stated that how he knew it had been a hard year for many of the people. That's when my tears really showed up.  

For my sister's present this year I gave her a DVD of Jason Crabb singing.  I am not a HUGE fan, but she is.  I have to say, the man can sing.  Especially when he's singing "I'd Rather Have Jesus."  Listening to it this morning, put everything into perspective.  The gifts we receive on Christmas are nice, but the real gift we should be receiving (if not received already) is the gift of salvation by Jesus Christ.  He came to this earth as a baby and grew up.  Learn the trade of his earthly father as a carpenter.  When it was time, He began His earthly ministry pointing people to God.  Once the events were completed, it was time for Him to be crucified. The Jews didn't kill Jesus...He gave up the ghost. He gave His life up for us.  He did this with such love in His heart for every soul that had lived before Him and those who will live after this act of kindness.  

So this morning, why Jason was singing "I'd Rather Have Jesus." I sat there and thought of how special Jesus' gift to me is.  It just really helped me to see how things in the world don't match to Jesus!

Merry Christmas!